tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.comments2011-11-12T12:19:15.577-05:00Moral TrainingUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-60166758626795669372011-11-12T12:19:15.577-05:002011-11-12T12:19:15.577-05:00Love your blog! Hope you post again soon!Love your blog! Hope you post again soon!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-66723183252804917932011-03-31T19:44:58.364-04:002011-03-31T19:44:58.364-04:00yes, Tami shared that link as well and I spent a f...yes, Tami shared that link as well and I spent a few minutes looking at it. I don''t like the idea of the kids using the computer without asking me first. This system has been great since half the time I didn't even realize they did they chores until they come and ask for a privilege card since they got their section of jobs completed. I was lucky and found the someone selling their unused system for a great price. My husband has even been super impressed with how motivated the kids have been -- which I know can be achieved with other programs. I just liked how this encompassed not only chores, but paying chores, behaviors, and teaching of delayed gratification. Thanks for the sharing the site, though! Others may like to know about it.ohboyitsagirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12938545220039229089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-62003532110922325942011-03-30T16:06:36.108-04:002011-03-30T16:06:36.108-04:00Oh, thank you so much for your comments! I truly a...Oh, thank you so much for your comments! I truly appreciate it! ;-)<br /><br />Yes, it can be difficult to be doing the right thing especially when others around you disagree. But our moral standard should be what the Bible teaches and there are so many shows on TV that teach against God's standards. <br /><br />Thats great that you are setting up scheduled TV only watching times - it does help limit the amount that it is on. One thing that has helped in our family is the use of "privilege cards". We recently started the "Accountable Kids" chore system and for each section of chores the kids do throughout the day they earn a "privilege card" which they can turn in for a particular privilege of their choice. I have set up their privileges to be things like watching a 30 minute show, playing 30 minute video game, playing a family game together, doing a craft project together...but basically whatever privilege each family wants to set up. And I have also noticed that when there are no privilege cards to use, they end up playing together and their imagination is just amazing! I totally understand what you mean!<br /><br />Please know you can always come here when you are feeling alone -- we all feel that! It is nice to be with people who share your same feelings and beliefs! <br /><br />Thanks for your comment -- and just in case you didn't see on the earlier post, I was able to set up a way for you to subscribe to Moral Training via email now. Just go to the top right section on the main page.ohboyitsagirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12938545220039229089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-30739642565911148772011-03-30T15:50:27.683-04:002011-03-30T15:50:27.683-04:00Oh, that was easy! I just added a new "gadget...Oh, that was easy! I just added a new "gadget" that you can now sign up your email address so the posts go directly to your inbox. See the top right hand side of the main page of the blog. Thanks for joining!ohboyitsagirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12938545220039229089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-48244874679641038652011-03-30T15:46:55.722-04:002011-03-30T15:46:55.722-04:00Hi Becky - I just saw your comment today -- sorry....Hi Becky - I just saw your comment today -- sorry. Let me see what I can figure out. I'm new to all this blogging stuff! ;-)ohboyitsagirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12938545220039229089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-8843873384326072582011-03-25T13:56:43.428-04:002011-03-25T13:56:43.428-04:00Thanks, again, Jenn. Very helpful!Thanks, again, Jenn. Very helpful!Jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03298790413434484330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-3183187817411880262011-03-20T22:52:21.400-04:002011-03-20T22:52:21.400-04:00Hi
Tami was telling me about this online job chart...Hi<br />Tami was telling me about this online job chart that they have recently started, it looked pretty user friendly, but maybe more-so if your kids get on the computer more.<br />http://www.myjobchart.com/<br />StaciNo I wasn't Sleepinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10998985277820629382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-65401302967474259822011-03-15T19:56:50.872-04:002011-03-15T19:56:50.872-04:00thanks, Natka. Yes, we have other rules as well, b...thanks, Natka. Yes, we have other rules as well, but these are so nice and simple and come quite in handy. :-) It is great you are teaching your kids to say sorry and that you yourself say sorry when someone gets hurt. It's a great that you model the same behavior you are wanting your children to demonstrate! Thanks for sharing!ohboyitsagirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12938545220039229089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-33699237170166908072011-03-15T10:07:07.708-04:002011-03-15T10:07:07.708-04:00thanks Erin -- I'll see how much I keep up wit...thanks Erin -- I'll see how much I keep up with it this time -- kinda go in spurts here!ohboyitsagirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12938545220039229089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-68972183733863130332011-03-14T21:30:03.066-04:002011-03-14T21:30:03.066-04:00Good to see you back! I can't believe I didn&...Good to see you back! I can't believe I didn't notice earlier than today...I enjoyed the dialogue.glad mommahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14758288135083442152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-2671766845373627862011-03-13T21:26:32.459-04:002011-03-13T21:26:32.459-04:00I like these 3 "no hurt" rules. I think ...I like these 3 "no hurt" rules. I think they are very easy even for little kids to grasp and follow. <br />We have "we don't hurt others" rule in our house and always make sure that kids say "sorry" to each other if they hurt each other. We also make sure to say "sorry" to them if they tell us that we hurt them. <br />We also have a rule "do unto others as you want to be done unto you".Natka-Kanadkahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15531429897059539100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-28999555137797358572011-03-13T15:53:54.267-04:002011-03-13T15:53:54.267-04:00It's sad that some people have taken Ezzo'...It's sad that some people have taken Ezzo's parenting too far - that's not how it is intended to be. That is not how God intends it to be. But I think that is with anything that parents do to an extreme and don't use Godly wisdom to help them determine what is best for their children. I know some kids that are just flat out brats because their parents don't have any control over them and they get to do whatever they want whenever they want. There has to be a balance. ;-)<br /><br />I hear you on the strong-willed child! I have one, too, but it happens to be my younger child - the three year old in the above story. I read this awesome book called "Setting Limits with your Strong Willed Child: Eliminating Conflict by Establishing CLEAR, firm, and Respectful Boundaries" by Robert MacKenzie and I loved how the first few chapters really helped you understand how your strong willed child thinks and processes things. It really helped me not get so frustrated over her constant testing. And just so you know, setting limits in this book does not at all refer to taking away freedoms or choices. Kids need boundaries and especially for the strong willed child, they need those boundaries to help them feel secure so they don't have to always be testing.<br /><br />Prayers as you continue your parenting journey! And thank you for your kind words! I read a lot of parenting books and can't say I practice solely one method over another. But can say I have appreciated the Ezzo's presentations on parenting and have included some of their teaching. I especially like their teaching on non-conflict training, which is something I try to regularly do with my kids.ohboyitsagirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12938545220039229089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-37156088488055476322011-03-12T21:27:50.618-05:002011-03-12T21:27:50.618-05:00Thank you for being open to the difference of opin...Thank you for being open to the difference of opinion! That's very rare especially when people talk about parenting styles :)<br /><br />Your later explanation makes perfect sense and I find myself agreeing with the most of it. I also think it's quite reasonable to expect a child accept some of the choices you make for him/her as long as you give them plenty of choice the rest of the time. I do that too with my kids, even though I don't practice Ezzo style of parenting.<br /><br />I guess my earlier reaction to your original post was caused by me knowing some very strict Christian families where the parents take all the authority and try and make kids into little robots, who do whatever their parents tell them to do. My husband teaches music to a few of those kids and it is so sad to see no sparkle in their eyes. Yes, they are very obedient and listen very well and very well behaved, but it's like all of their own personality was "spanked out" of them. When they are done their lesson and wait for their parents they just stand there, no eye contact, very quiet, just waiting...<br /><br />My first son was (and still is) very strong-willed and we were trying to "break" him a bit during his toddler years because we thought that was what we were supposed to do. He wouldn't let us :) and we accepted him they way God made him. We had to learn how to communicate with him and make him listen to us without "breaking" his will. He is the most loving and caring and well-mannered and well-behaved little boy now. <br />Our second son is much more mild mannered, much easier to get to do what we want him too. However, we are trying to encourage him to express himself, just because it would be so much easier to "break" him and make him comply to our will... but then he'd lose his personality...We want him to grow up very confident and know his mind.<br /><br />Thank you for inviting dialogue. You are a very wise mother a person :)Natka-Kanadkahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15531429897059539100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-85553611884212281712011-03-11T11:17:00.088-05:002011-03-11T11:17:00.088-05:00thanks for the dialogue - I appreciate it! Hope to...thanks for the dialogue - I appreciate it! Hope to hear more from you!! ;-)ohboyitsagirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12938545220039229089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-35056287741159902592011-03-11T11:16:35.353-05:002011-03-11T11:16:35.353-05:00I feel when your 3 year old is throwing a fit over...I feel when your 3 year old is throwing a fit over the pjs you picked out for her to wear, the last thing a parent should do is give in and let her go and pick her own pjs then. Everything we do teaches our children something -- in this case throw a fit and I get my choice of what I wanted... By teaching her to accept my choices once in awhile on smaller things, like pj selection or what we're eating for dinner or what color cup I give her, I'm able to teach her that I, as the mother and parent, can make choices for her that she will just have to accept. But by not teaching her now that once in awhile I get to make those smaller choices for her, it will make those bigger choices harder for her to except since all her life she was use to making all her own smaller choices...does that make sense?<br /><br />Please understand I give my children plenty of choices and freedoms that they are able to handle. And yes I agree that if one were to completely remove ALL choice and freedom that would it cause physiological issues. <br /><br />I can appreciate your comment about moving to a new country - but I think that's where trust comes into play. You have to prove that you are able to handle the choices and decisions so people can trust you and allow you to continue to make more choices. Also having a strong self esteem and self worth would prevent one from doubting themselves and accepting other people views.ohboyitsagirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12938545220039229089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-82512354753370312592011-03-10T11:57:14.311-05:002011-03-10T11:57:14.311-05:00Do you do any e-mail notifications... such as thro...Do you do any e-mail notifications... such as through feedburner? I dont use a "reader" but I would love to keep up with your posts. Thanks! BeckyMunchkinMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11625753843618731060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-71727210082662644022011-03-10T11:53:06.570-05:002011-03-10T11:53:06.570-05:00Thank you for your blog. I share your enthusiam f...Thank you for your blog. I share your enthusiam for raising morally responsible kids. The TV is a HUGE deal at our house. I feel very alone in this matter. My parents and my husbands parents dont "get it". My friends dont "get it". For the most part I feel like everyone thinks I'm being extreme. I am not anti-TV, but I have found that If I turn a show on, it is really easy to have the TV on longer. Even if it is a "good show", I just dont like how much it can influence them. TV breeds more TV.<br />In the past couple of weeks I have used the TV not in the morning (where it could easily stay on longer) but before naps or bed, if at all. I have found that my kids's imagination has EXPLODED as a result. They are completely content and not asking for it constantly, and it is absolutely WONDERFUL!! On another note, I struggle with scheduling them so much. I know that I need to get better at it but have tried and failed so many times. I just wanted to thank you for your thoughts here and let you know I appreciate another place to turn when I feel alone. :)MunchkinMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11625753843618731060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-14879365213651669752011-03-10T08:32:01.797-05:002011-03-10T08:32:01.797-05:00Thank you for your response. I agree that as paren...Thank you for your response. I agree that as parents we need to make sure we don't let kids just do whatever they want. They need to have age appropriate boundaries. Like you said, you don't want a 2 year old (or 4 or 6 or even 12 year old) driving a car, because it's dangerous. Also you don't let your young child to cross the road or go to the park by himself. That's common sense. <br />However in cases like not letting a toddler to decide what to wear or when to eat or what toys to play, isn't it taking it too far? <br />Around 2 years of age kids start to realize that they are a "separate" person from their mother. Intellectually they are ahead of their physical abilities, they know what they want, but they are restricted by their abilities and environment (as parents we still make most of the decisions for them - when and where to go out, when and what to do during the day, etc) They also cannot communicate (talk) very well yet. Thus the tantrums. <br />I think there is a big difference between a 2-year old tantrum and a teenager who stays past crew. <br />Even as an adult, don't you sometimes feel like throwing a tantrum when you feel too restricted in your choices? I sure do. <br />Say you moved to a new country and in your home country you were a surgeon. You are very intelligent and know a lot, but you don't speak the language and since you are an immigrant people don't think you know much and they "tell you what you know" They don't let you move at your own pace because they think you cannot handle it. Wouldn't it make you incredibly frustrated and eventually (if that goes on for too long) depressed? Wouldn't you start doubt yourself and eventually accept other people view of you and conform to it?<br />Sorry about the long post. :)Natka-Kanadkahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15531429897059539100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-51877792629371963262011-03-09T18:26:50.695-05:002011-03-09T18:26:50.695-05:00actually the opposite is true. For a child who has...actually the opposite is true. For a child who has too many freedoms that they are not able to handle (um, do you let your 2 year old drive your car?), you are creating a safe environment for them. If children are left to complete freedom they will act up and misbehave. Children need and want boundaries. It makes them feel safe. I'm not saying to completely restrict children's freedoms. Choice is good for children. It teaches them responsibility and accountability. I'm saying that freedoms need to be restricted if a child is unable to handle them. Either by throwing a temper tantrum for a 2 year old or a teenager who stays past crew. Give a child as much responsibility/choice/freedom as they are to handle. Too much freedom that they aren't able to handle and you'll cause worse issues than anxiety, dreppression and self dependability on others... Does that help clarify?ohboyitsagirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12938545220039229089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-85243627232050143962011-03-09T16:16:03.601-05:002011-03-09T16:16:03.601-05:00Wouldn't restricting child's freedoms caus...Wouldn't restricting child's freedoms cause undesirable long-term side effects (ex. anxiety and depression; super-dependability on others)?<br /><br />Psychology Today: "The decline in children's freedom is a serious social issue. It is responsible, I think, for the dramatic increases in childhood depression and suicide. People of all ages crave freedom, and they suffer when their freedom is taken away. As a society we have come to understand this principal as applied to adults, but we put our heads in the sand rather than face the evidence that children too crave freedom and need it in order to feel happy and to grow in healthy ways"<br /><br />What do you think?Natka-Kanadkahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15531429897059539100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-25214153983106951752011-03-07T22:41:31.356-05:002011-03-07T22:41:31.356-05:00welcome back.welcome back.No I wasn't Sleepinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10998985277820629382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-54581870909932091272010-07-21T10:30:12.560-04:002010-07-21T10:30:12.560-04:00What a wonderful post, and not just because you me...What a wonderful post, and not just because you mention my series in it! You do a great job of giving a specific example of how to implement some of the principles daily and the importance of remaining calm. I look forward to more posts :-)theconfidentmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08043756148090557930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-7926051141465624432010-07-08T14:49:50.240-04:002010-07-08T14:49:50.240-04:00Thanks Susan!Thanks Susan!ohboyitsagirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12938545220039229089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-85098627564241046372010-07-07T13:20:27.914-04:002010-07-07T13:20:27.914-04:00Great explanation Jen. I am so thrilled with this...Great explanation Jen. I am so thrilled with this venture and what you bring to other moms struggling with areas in parenting. Can't wait for the next one!!theconfidentmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08043756148090557930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-628663398645171038.post-75167677481347084142010-07-06T19:58:36.493-04:002010-07-06T19:58:36.493-04:00Yeah, Mya -- parenting can be tough. What's gr...Yeah, Mya -- parenting can be tough. What's great though is when certain situations do come up, it gives everyone an opportunity to learn and grow from it. I really had to sit down and think about what sharing means to me and what I want to teach my kids about sharing. And this is what I came up with. And of course what I think for me and my family may not be the same for another family...but that's okay. Just provides me another opportunity to teach my kids something else! ;-)<br /><br />You made some excellent points and it seems you have thought about this before!ohboyitsagirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12938545220039229089noreply@blogger.com