try, try, again. And if you still don't succeed, come up with a new plan!
I personally feel that some parents give up too quickly on training their children. "Oh, that just seems like too much work", or "I don't want to hear her crying/whining so I'll just keep giving her what she wants", or "it's just a phase, I'm sure they'll outgrow it soon"...I think it's important to come up with a plan on how you want to go about solving certain behavior your children are demonstrating and then actually stick with it for at least 2 weeks to see if any changes occur. (remember to be only working on 3 or 4 things at a time, though...) I say at least 2 weeks since depending on your child's temperament change can take awhile for one to get adjusted to. Remember, too, that it does take 21 days to form a new habit and isn't that what you are trying to do with your children in some cases, form new habits?
So what happens after the 2 weeks and you aren't seeing any difference or worse, the behavior has actually gone in the opposite way you were wanting it to go. My first suggestion is to really pray about things to see maybe your approach is wrong or that maybe you should be focusing on it in a completely different way. Second, talk to a close friend that shares the same parenting philosophy as you do. Sometimes when you are in the middle of the issue, you are so close to the problem that you may actually be missing something completely obvious. Third, don't be legalistic or stubborn and say "well this is what I started out to do and under no circumstances am I going change my plans". And finally, think about what you're actually trying to accomplish. Maybe you are being unrealistic in what you are wanting to accomplish. Or maybe you are thinking something needs to be a certain way when maybe it really doesn't.
This all leads up to my story with Anna and wanting her to be quiet/no talking/no singing at night time. It was becoming a big battle between us. In a previous post I commented how we were now going to swat when we had told Anna to be quiet for bedtime. We planned to stop giving her warning after warning after warning, that first time it would be a swat. I knew she knew what it meant to be quiet and still and she knew the expectations of me wanting her to be quiet. But for at least two weeks, things were not getting better. It got to the point that she would actually start talking right as I was walking out of her room. So she would get her swat (which honestly, I don't like swatting before naptime/bedtime...). Then like 30 seconds later she would start talking again. I didn't want to swat her every time she talked, but we did tell her not to talk so since she was disobeying there had to be some consequence. So we then decided to close her door until she had self control and a happy heart, then we would open it. But again, as soon as the door was open, she would start talking or singing. What was I to do? Our evenings were getting so stressful...then I talked to a friend about it and she said "why does she have to be quiet? maybe it's okay for her to talk quietly or sing quietly to herself?" Then I remember something I heard from Carla Link that some kids actually need that down time before falling asleep. They need to sing to themselves or talk to themselves, it's their way of relaxing. Ah the light bulb went off!
So for the last couple of days now, we have allowed Anna to talk quietly or sing quietly to herself to help her relax and fall asleep. And I have to say, bedtime has been more enjoyable for us all! So, if at first your don't succeed, try, try again. If you still aren't succeeding...come up with a new plan!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
THE THREE R'S OF LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES
Logical consequences are respectful, relevant, and realistic.
Respectful:
Respect is conveyed through words and nonverbal gestures.
* Use a normal tone of voice. Avoid sarcasm
* Speak directly and quietly to the student. Whenever possible, avoid calling across a room or raising your voice.
* Focus on the deed and not on the doer. Convey the message that it is the behavior you object to, not the student.
* Be clear and firm and don't negotiate.
"You need to leave the circle now," gives a precise direction. "You were talking and jabbing your pencil, etc. etc. etc" gives too much information, and opens the teacher up to argument: "I was not…He was too.."
Relevant:
A consequence needs to be logically related to the students' actions.
* It helps children see a cause and effect. (For example, when you talk, your work doesn't get done.)
* It references the rules. ("What do our rules say about name-calling?")
* It focuses on the specific problems created when rules are broken. ("When you tell me you're going to the bathroom and instead you fool around in the hall, what happens to our trust?")
* It focuses on individual responsibility and accountability for helping preserve a safe learning community. (A student ignores the signal for quiet and keeps on talking with a neighbor. The teacher points out that the signal is a way to make sure everyone can receive directions quickly. It keeps everyone safe. Thus this student needs to see that his or her behavior is not responsible. The teacher implements a short time-out period for the student to recover controls and observe the limits. Later, the teacher perhaps will arrange a practice time so the student can return to the group and show by hid or her actions the "signal" procedures.)
Realistic:
A consequence should be something the teacher and student can follow through on.
* There is a reasonable follow-through action expected by the student. (A student who is not looking where he or she is going spills paint all over the floor. The student will help clean it up, but is not expected to mop the entire class, the hall, and the lunchroom as well.)
* There is a clear time frame that is appropriate to the developmental age of the student and the behaviors of the student. (A two-minute time out might or might not give a student time to recover controls. If the student returns to the group before he or she has truly regulated the behavior or while he or she is still pouting and angry, it is likely the misbehaviors will quickly resume.)
* Time frame makes sense -- it is not too long and thus harsh, or too short and thus ineffective. (A student sent on an errand gets caught playing with the water fountain in the hall. The student loses the privileges of running errands for a few days or the rest of the week -- depending on the behavior, prior experience, and so on -- but not for a month or forever!) Remember, children need on-going opportunities to learn from their mistakes, develop their self-controls, and regain trust.
* The teacher is prepared to follow-through and implement. (Told that homework that isn't handed in has to be made up after school or before school begins, teachers need to check the homework and reinforce expectations, as well as be realistic about their own time availability and parent communication. No empty threats!)
In sum, logical consequences applied with respect, relevancy, and realistic guidelines help children understand the consequences of their own choices and, hopefully, help them learn from their mistakes.
This was taken from http://www.educationworld.com/a_curr/columnists/charney/charney006.shtml -- a resource for teachers in the classroom.
Respectful:
Respect is conveyed through words and nonverbal gestures.
* Use a normal tone of voice. Avoid sarcasm
* Speak directly and quietly to the student. Whenever possible, avoid calling across a room or raising your voice.
* Focus on the deed and not on the doer. Convey the message that it is the behavior you object to, not the student.
* Be clear and firm and don't negotiate.
"You need to leave the circle now," gives a precise direction. "You were talking and jabbing your pencil, etc. etc. etc" gives too much information, and opens the teacher up to argument: "I was not…He was too.."
Relevant:
A consequence needs to be logically related to the students' actions.
* It helps children see a cause and effect. (For example, when you talk, your work doesn't get done.)
* It references the rules. ("What do our rules say about name-calling?")
* It focuses on the specific problems created when rules are broken. ("When you tell me you're going to the bathroom and instead you fool around in the hall, what happens to our trust?")
* It focuses on individual responsibility and accountability for helping preserve a safe learning community. (A student ignores the signal for quiet and keeps on talking with a neighbor. The teacher points out that the signal is a way to make sure everyone can receive directions quickly. It keeps everyone safe. Thus this student needs to see that his or her behavior is not responsible. The teacher implements a short time-out period for the student to recover controls and observe the limits. Later, the teacher perhaps will arrange a practice time so the student can return to the group and show by hid or her actions the "signal" procedures.)
Realistic:
A consequence should be something the teacher and student can follow through on.
* There is a reasonable follow-through action expected by the student. (A student who is not looking where he or she is going spills paint all over the floor. The student will help clean it up, but is not expected to mop the entire class, the hall, and the lunchroom as well.)
* There is a clear time frame that is appropriate to the developmental age of the student and the behaviors of the student. (A two-minute time out might or might not give a student time to recover controls. If the student returns to the group before he or she has truly regulated the behavior or while he or she is still pouting and angry, it is likely the misbehaviors will quickly resume.)
* Time frame makes sense -- it is not too long and thus harsh, or too short and thus ineffective. (A student sent on an errand gets caught playing with the water fountain in the hall. The student loses the privileges of running errands for a few days or the rest of the week -- depending on the behavior, prior experience, and so on -- but not for a month or forever!) Remember, children need on-going opportunities to learn from their mistakes, develop their self-controls, and regain trust.
* The teacher is prepared to follow-through and implement. (Told that homework that isn't handed in has to be made up after school or before school begins, teachers need to check the homework and reinforce expectations, as well as be realistic about their own time availability and parent communication. No empty threats!)
In sum, logical consequences applied with respect, relevancy, and realistic guidelines help children understand the consequences of their own choices and, hopefully, help them learn from their mistakes.
This was taken from http://www.educationworld.com/a_curr/columnists/charney/charney006.shtml -- a resource for teachers in the classroom.
Go to your room...(that includes you mom!)
I typically put a show on for the kids while I go upstairs to take my shower. I leave the bathroom door open so for the most part I can hear what is going on while I shower. Yesterday, I came downstairs after my shower to see and hear the kids quickly running out of the kitchen, jumping on the sofa, and quietly giggling. I knew they were up to something. As I came around the corner, their little checks were filled with something. I asked Owen what was in his mouth and before he could answer, Anna said in a giddy excited voice "chocolate!" While in my shower the kids had moved one of the dining room chairs into the kitchen and helped themselves to the Hershey Kisses that were sitting on the kitchen counter (they did manage to grab some grapes as well!). Anyway, needless to say, I was a bit frustrated since they know when I'm taking my shower they are suppose to be either playing nicely or watching their show. They aren't to be in Mommy's kitchen without first asking me. So what was I to do? I took a deep breath and told Owen in a calm and controlled voice to go to his room. (Back to my previous post, we need to show our kids self control and even though I wanted to yell and scream that yet once again they've managed to do something I've told them not to do...we need to be the example. Also, remind me to tell you the analogy about the traffic cop if you haven't already heard it!) Anyway, Owen went straight to his room without complaining or whining and sat on his red stool by the door waiting for me to come talk to him. Anna went to her room as well. So what was I going to do? In my opinion the best consequence was a logical consequence so I went into Owen's room and we talked about why Mommy sent him to his room. I told him that because he did something that he shouldn't have done - pushing the dining room chair into the kitchen to get chocolates off the counter - that he would not be getting any treats today (I'll write more about this later when I talk about picky eaters and why this was a logical consequence...). To me this was the best logical consequence that I could think of that was tied to what just happened. Here are some thoughts to consider when it comes to logical consequences:
* A logical consequence is a way for a parent to "redirect a child's thinking and behavior, which is logically associated with the offense" (GKGW).
* To help you remember, there are three R's to logical consequences: Respectful, Relevant, and Realistic. See my next post on more details from a website I found regarding the three R's of logical consequences.
* You don't have to tell your child right away what the logical consequence is, but it should be determined while the child is sitting in a reflective time out. In other words, if you need time to think of an appropriate logical consequence, it's okay to tell your child to go sit in his room (this is not play time!) while you determine what the logical consequence will be (yes, you can go to your room too to think about it and pray for guidance!) This allowed me some time to cool down and to think clearly and then I was able to calmly go talk to Owen about his choices he had made and the consequences for those choices.
* Once you lay out a logical consequence, by all means, make sure you follow through with it! If not, then your kids will quickly realize that you don't mean what you say. Don't give in no matter how much whining and complaining and begging your child tries on you to get back whatever logical consequence you are enforcing. In those situations it's best to have your child go sit on his/her bed (or wherever your time out area is) until they are ready to have a happy heart - in other words that they are ready to stop complaining, whining or begging you.
How have you seen logical consequences work in your home? Do you have some issues that have come up that you need help determining logical consequence for? Maybe we'd be able to help!
* A logical consequence is a way for a parent to "redirect a child's thinking and behavior, which is logically associated with the offense" (GKGW).
* To help you remember, there are three R's to logical consequences: Respectful, Relevant, and Realistic. See my next post on more details from a website I found regarding the three R's of logical consequences.
* You don't have to tell your child right away what the logical consequence is, but it should be determined while the child is sitting in a reflective time out. In other words, if you need time to think of an appropriate logical consequence, it's okay to tell your child to go sit in his room (this is not play time!) while you determine what the logical consequence will be (yes, you can go to your room too to think about it and pray for guidance!) This allowed me some time to cool down and to think clearly and then I was able to calmly go talk to Owen about his choices he had made and the consequences for those choices.
* Once you lay out a logical consequence, by all means, make sure you follow through with it! If not, then your kids will quickly realize that you don't mean what you say. Don't give in no matter how much whining and complaining and begging your child tries on you to get back whatever logical consequence you are enforcing. In those situations it's best to have your child go sit on his/her bed (or wherever your time out area is) until they are ready to have a happy heart - in other words that they are ready to stop complaining, whining or begging you.
How have you seen logical consequences work in your home? Do you have some issues that have come up that you need help determining logical consequence for? Maybe we'd be able to help!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Be an example
I have a BIG pet peeve...I get so frustrated when I see parents do things that I know they really wouldn't want their kids doing. For example, I occasionally teach Cradle Roll Sabbath School and I can't tell you how many parents I see (and hear!) talking away during the program. And then when the kids go back to the tables for their lesson study, parents stand around the tables talking. And they aren't just whispering, they are talking loud enough to be very disruptive. I find this to be quite disrespectful. It's disrespectful to the teachers that are volunteering their time to teach their children and I find it disrespectful to the children that are there trying to listen to the program. I'm pretty sure as soon as these kids go into Church, parents are telling them to be quiet, to not talk and to whisper, and to sit still...so why do parents find it's okay to be disruptive during their kids program? Be an example and show your children how you are respectful. Show your children how you can sit and be quiet and still. Show your children how you can have self control and hold off conversations until later or at least with a whisper.
This even carries over into the home. The other day my husband made a PB&J sandwich for himself to eat after getting the kids their PB&J sandwiches and putting their sandwiches on a plate. When he sat down to eat his sandwich, he plopped his sandwich right on the table, no plate. I really didn't have a huge issue with it, but what I did have an issue with was if Owen or Anna would have plopped their sandwich on the table, we would have told them that food stays on their plates. So why would we do something different?
I try to watch the things I do and say and try to ask myself before doing things if I would be okay with Owen and Anna doing the same thing. Yes, I understand there are things that as a parent I will be able to do and my children not, but when it comes to morals it doesn't matter if you're a parent or a child, the morals should be the same. So be an example and show and demonstrate to your children the morals you are trying to teach them. You can't expect them to be respectful if you can't show respect, you can't expect them to be kind if you can't show kindness, you can't expect them to have self control if you can't show self control...get the point -- be an example! Your kids look to you more than you may realize!
This even carries over into the home. The other day my husband made a PB&J sandwich for himself to eat after getting the kids their PB&J sandwiches and putting their sandwiches on a plate. When he sat down to eat his sandwich, he plopped his sandwich right on the table, no plate. I really didn't have a huge issue with it, but what I did have an issue with was if Owen or Anna would have plopped their sandwich on the table, we would have told them that food stays on their plates. So why would we do something different?
I try to watch the things I do and say and try to ask myself before doing things if I would be okay with Owen and Anna doing the same thing. Yes, I understand there are things that as a parent I will be able to do and my children not, but when it comes to morals it doesn't matter if you're a parent or a child, the morals should be the same. So be an example and show and demonstrate to your children the morals you are trying to teach them. You can't expect them to be respectful if you can't show respect, you can't expect them to be kind if you can't show kindness, you can't expect them to have self control if you can't show self control...get the point -- be an example! Your kids look to you more than you may realize!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Please and Thank You
Ah, those two magic words..."please" and "thank you". Have you ever stopped and listened to yourself instruct your children to do something. "Owen, could you please take your dishes to the sink." "Anna, please pick up your toys". Sounds all nice and pleasant, doesn't it? But really listen to what you are saying - these aren't instructions or commands, these are requests. When you add a please to do this or please to do that, you have now turned your instructions into a request where you're giving your child the freedom to say no to your instructions...and then begins the power struggles. When instructing children, especially children who are still learning first time obedience, don't use please or thank you when giving instructions.
But wait, you say - I want my child to grow up being polite saying please and thank you...there are so many other opportunities to practice please and thank yous in your family. When eating dinner, say "please pass the rolls". When playing tea party with your kids, say "please may I have some more tea...thank you". You will see that your children will pick up on your words and will use please and thank yous too.
But wait, you say - I want my child to grow up being polite saying please and thank you...there are so many other opportunities to practice please and thank yous in your family. When eating dinner, say "please pass the rolls". When playing tea party with your kids, say "please may I have some more tea...thank you". You will see that your children will pick up on your words and will use please and thank yous too.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Get your self some control
So this week's theme is all about self control...we had Owen's 4th birthday party yesterday and I was so hoping he would take a nap before his party but he never fell asleep. He just laid quiet and still on his bed for 45 minutes without falling asleep -- man, if I even lay down for 5 minutes, I'm out!!! Anyway, this resulted in a couple of melt downs at the birthday party. After the party was over, Mark and I were talking it over to try to figure out what set Owen off. One time it was because he was playing with a pirate ship and one of his guest started to take it away from him (need to work more on the concept of sharing). The other two times were when Mark went over to do something for Owen, Owen had a melt down. We were talking that maybe preparing and talking Owen through what Mark was going to do vs just doing it may have prevented those two melt downs or at least minimized them some. And the other one, we couldn't remember. But all in all, to me a melt down or temper tantrum or whatever you call it is a result of not having self control and so this is the reason for this week's theme.
During this morning's training time we talked about some of the things that happened yesterday at the birthday party and we talked about our behavior needing to show self control. I was really having a hard time explaining what self control is and what it is not without getting too lecturery (is that even a word?!) Anyway, I still have some work to do on ways to get the concept of self control across to Owen and Anna besides all they know is to fold their hands to get self control when Mommy tells them to. I was trying to tell Owen that if he needs to get some self control instead of yelling and throwing a fit, he could maybe go into his room to calm down a bit before joining his friends again. I'm not sure how to really practice this and I don't want training time to be just lecture time....
After training time, we went over to the Christian Bookstore (you know, they opened a new one right off Grape Road where Don Pablo's use to be) with my 25% off coupon and picked up the video series "Character Builders". We got the set for $45. This series has 8 DVDs with 2 different character building vitrues per DVD. Owen and I just watched the one on self control.
I always love it when we watch shows like this or read stories about character traits we are learning about how Owen all of sudden perks up and comments on it. Like during this show he said "oh, mom, it's self control!". The show was about how the bear was on his way to a birthday party and stopped along the way to eat the dessert he was to bring to the party. He didn't show self control in waiting to enjoy the treats at the party. The show also sings a song about the virtue being taught. Have the say the tunes are catchy but the singing is a bit annoying, even though Owen seemed to really like it! So yes, the song was all about how self needs to have control. Overall I think this will be a good series to have for our moral training. I still want to come up with some better ways to teach what self control is and what we can do if we feel we don't have self control.
How do you teach self control in your home? How do you personally demonstrate self control?
During this morning's training time we talked about some of the things that happened yesterday at the birthday party and we talked about our behavior needing to show self control. I was really having a hard time explaining what self control is and what it is not without getting too lecturery (is that even a word?!) Anyway, I still have some work to do on ways to get the concept of self control across to Owen and Anna besides all they know is to fold their hands to get self control when Mommy tells them to. I was trying to tell Owen that if he needs to get some self control instead of yelling and throwing a fit, he could maybe go into his room to calm down a bit before joining his friends again. I'm not sure how to really practice this and I don't want training time to be just lecture time....
After training time, we went over to the Christian Bookstore (you know, they opened a new one right off Grape Road where Don Pablo's use to be) with my 25% off coupon and picked up the video series "Character Builders". We got the set for $45. This series has 8 DVDs with 2 different character building vitrues per DVD. Owen and I just watched the one on self control.
I always love it when we watch shows like this or read stories about character traits we are learning about how Owen all of sudden perks up and comments on it. Like during this show he said "oh, mom, it's self control!". The show was about how the bear was on his way to a birthday party and stopped along the way to eat the dessert he was to bring to the party. He didn't show self control in waiting to enjoy the treats at the party. The show also sings a song about the virtue being taught. Have the say the tunes are catchy but the singing is a bit annoying, even though Owen seemed to really like it! So yes, the song was all about how self needs to have control. Overall I think this will be a good series to have for our moral training. I still want to come up with some better ways to teach what self control is and what we can do if we feel we don't have self control.
How do you teach self control in your home? How do you personally demonstrate self control?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
"Input, Output"
"what comes in must come out..." This was a song I remember as a kid. I don't remember who sang it, but it has to do with what we put into our bodies and mind is what would come out and how we need to be ever so selective with what we choose to put into our bodies and mind. And since my children are too young to make those choices for themselves, it is up to me to decide for them and to teach them how to make good choices on what to put into their bodies and minds.
Lately Owen has been saying to me after I tell him to do something "but please, please, mom, can we, can we, please, please please!" Now first of all this is not the correct response my children are to have when I instruct them to do something. I expect a "yes mommy" and that is something that we do practice during our training time and for the most part the kids will say "yes mommy" during the day. But just recently, Owen has been saying the "but please, please, mom, can we, can we, please, please, please!" and I just couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Then as I was watching one of Owen's favorite shows with him, the PBS show "Dinosaur Train" I hear Tiny (one of the 'kid' dinosaurs) say to his mom after mom said it was time to go "but please, please, mom, can we, can we, please, please, please!" and the mom says "okay, yes you can". OUCH! This show is teaching my son things that go against what I'm trying to teach him and the show is winning!
Here are some tips/suggestions I've thought about when it comes to media influences on our children and what you can do about it:
* First, always watch the show with your kid or even by yourself the first time to make sure the show is in fact reflecting the behavior and family virtues you are wanting your children to emulate. There are several shows that I will not let my kids watch. Basically if the show has behavior I don't want my kids to have (whining, disrespect to authority, talking back to parents, challenging parents instructions, not being kind to others...) then it's a show I don't want them watching.
* It's okay to say "no, we aren't watching that show anymore". And if your child is over 3 yrs of age, you need to explain the moral reason why you are saying we aren't to watch this show anymore. You are wanting to teach your children how to make the right choices for themselves on what shows are okay to watch and what shows aren't - this is why you explain the moral reason why.
* We tend to either watch DVD's that we have approved okay to watch or any shows on TV we tape with our DVR so I can fast forward through the commercials. Another at times very negative influence on our children. So try to minimize as best you can commercials your children see.
* Find other activities to do then watch TV. Yes, I know there are times that a show is good to have the kids sit down and watch and yes we do have a daily schedule of a show to watch. But I do find myself when tired or just not wanting to find things for my kids to do, it's just so easy to turn on the TV for them.
* Check out websites like http://www.pluggedin.com/ which help give Christian reviews on current movies, TV shows and music. Needless to say, they don't have any PBS shows listed.
* Always be on the look out for books, videos, stories...that strengthen your moral training not break it down. It's hard enough to train your children to be moral, we don't need to be giving them negative influences that will work against our efforts. For those in the area, I love Bargain Bookstore, actually there is a online store too at http://www.bargainbookstores.com/, but they have lots of Christian based books at great prices. Just today I found the whole series on "A Children's Books About..." interrupting, being greedy, stealing, fighting, complaining...there were over 16 different topics and they were $1.99 each, but they were having a sale by 10 and get 10% off your total order.
I alway love when we do training time and then later one while we are reading a story or watching a show, Owen says "oh, mom just like in training time". It helps me see that he is actually getting it! As he gets older, I am hoping he will be able to realize that certain shows do and act ways that the Cook's don't act and that he is able to not fall to their influences and be strong in what we have trained him to be!
Do you have any further ideas or suggestions on how you control the media influences on your children? Are there any particular shows or books you like for your kids?
Lately Owen has been saying to me after I tell him to do something "but please, please, mom, can we, can we, please, please please!" Now first of all this is not the correct response my children are to have when I instruct them to do something. I expect a "yes mommy" and that is something that we do practice during our training time and for the most part the kids will say "yes mommy" during the day. But just recently, Owen has been saying the "but please, please, mom, can we, can we, please, please, please!" and I just couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Then as I was watching one of Owen's favorite shows with him, the PBS show "Dinosaur Train" I hear Tiny (one of the 'kid' dinosaurs) say to his mom after mom said it was time to go "but please, please, mom, can we, can we, please, please, please!" and the mom says "okay, yes you can". OUCH! This show is teaching my son things that go against what I'm trying to teach him and the show is winning!
Here are some tips/suggestions I've thought about when it comes to media influences on our children and what you can do about it:
* First, always watch the show with your kid or even by yourself the first time to make sure the show is in fact reflecting the behavior and family virtues you are wanting your children to emulate. There are several shows that I will not let my kids watch. Basically if the show has behavior I don't want my kids to have (whining, disrespect to authority, talking back to parents, challenging parents instructions, not being kind to others...) then it's a show I don't want them watching.
* It's okay to say "no, we aren't watching that show anymore". And if your child is over 3 yrs of age, you need to explain the moral reason why you are saying we aren't to watch this show anymore. You are wanting to teach your children how to make the right choices for themselves on what shows are okay to watch and what shows aren't - this is why you explain the moral reason why.
* We tend to either watch DVD's that we have approved okay to watch or any shows on TV we tape with our DVR so I can fast forward through the commercials. Another at times very negative influence on our children. So try to minimize as best you can commercials your children see.
* Find other activities to do then watch TV. Yes, I know there are times that a show is good to have the kids sit down and watch and yes we do have a daily schedule of a show to watch. But I do find myself when tired or just not wanting to find things for my kids to do, it's just so easy to turn on the TV for them.
* Check out websites like http://www.pluggedin.com/ which help give Christian reviews on current movies, TV shows and music. Needless to say, they don't have any PBS shows listed.
* Always be on the look out for books, videos, stories...that strengthen your moral training not break it down. It's hard enough to train your children to be moral, we don't need to be giving them negative influences that will work against our efforts. For those in the area, I love Bargain Bookstore, actually there is a online store too at http://www.bargainbookstores.com/, but they have lots of Christian based books at great prices. Just today I found the whole series on "A Children's Books About..." interrupting, being greedy, stealing, fighting, complaining...there were over 16 different topics and they were $1.99 each, but they were having a sale by 10 and get 10% off your total order.
I alway love when we do training time and then later one while we are reading a story or watching a show, Owen says "oh, mom just like in training time". It helps me see that he is actually getting it! As he gets older, I am hoping he will be able to realize that certain shows do and act ways that the Cook's don't act and that he is able to not fall to their influences and be strong in what we have trained him to be!
Do you have any further ideas or suggestions on how you control the media influences on your children? Are there any particular shows or books you like for your kids?
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