Sunday, March 13, 2011

3 Simple Rules?!

Can that be even possible to have 3 Simple Rules for everyday situations for your kids? I don't remember what book it was that I was reading (I think it was one from Kay Kuzma) but I came across these 3 rules for conduct for your kids. I liked how simple they were to remember but yet how they apply to almost every behavioral situation your kids may encounter.

Here are the 3 rules:

* We don't hurt others (I remind my kids that this includes our words and our actions)
* We don't hurt things
* We don't hurt ourselves

Start off in non-conflict training going over these three rules and explaining to your kids in detail what each of these rules mean and include examples. You can even make a fun game out of it by asking your kids to tell you which rule you are breaking. For example you could say "Oh, I'm so upset that I just threw my friends toy on the ground" -- we don't hurt things. Or "I just shouted to my friend "You are being so mean and selfish" -- we don't hurt others. "I really would like to jump up and down on the sofa" -- we don't hurt ourselves and we don't hurt things. Get the idea?

I don't know about you, but I feel it is important to go over behavior and rules with your children before going over to someone's house for a play date, or running errands in a store, or whatever outing you're about to do -- it is a good idea to remind them (or if they are older, have them tell you) what the expectations are for how to behave. And by teaching them these 3 rules you don't have to have a huge list of "do's and don'ts".

Also, another way to help your kids understand the rules is if they are breaking one of them -- say hitting their sister in frustration, you could simple go over and say "remember we don't hurt others -- you need to go take a break, now".

Having 3 simple rules makes it easy for both you and your kids. There isn't a huge list to remember and by only having three simple rules, it helps everyone be consistent with expectations. Even little ones will easily remember what the three rules are.

Do you have consistent rules in your family? Do you remind your kids each time you go out how they are to behave?


  1. I like these 3 "no hurt" rules. I think they are very easy even for little kids to grasp and follow.
    We have "we don't hurt others" rule in our house and always make sure that kids say "sorry" to each other if they hurt each other. We also make sure to say "sorry" to them if they tell us that we hurt them.
    We also have a rule "do unto others as you want to be done unto you".

  2. thanks, Natka. Yes, we have other rules as well, but these are so nice and simple and come quite in handy. :-) It is great you are teaching your kids to say sorry and that you yourself say sorry when someone gets hurt. It's a great that you model the same behavior you are wanting your children to demonstrate! Thanks for sharing!