I'm sorry...for what?

One thing I'm really after my kids on is when they say sorry, I don't let them get away with just saying "I'm sorry". Then need to say "I'm sorry" and then say what they are actually sorry for. For example, if Owen hits Anna, I expect him to say "I'm sorry Anna for hitting you" (well, I actually rather have him not to be hitting in the first place, but let's have some realistic expectations here).

It's important that you teach your kids not to just say they are sorry but to actually acknowledge what they are sorry for. By doing so, it creates ownership to their actions. Not only is this a good lesson for kids to learn, parents, husbands, wives, friends...should do the same!

To get your kids to start saying what they are sorry for, just prompt them after they say sorry by reminding them "what are you sorry for?" or I just now say "for what" and they know what I mean. It's also good for them to acknowledge what they are sorry for so it starts to help them realize what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior and also to put words to their actions. Sometimes Owen will say "what am I sorry for" and we'll talk through what he did to determine what he needs to be saying sorry for. Even Anna, who's 2, will say what she is sorry for!

** After today's training time we tried to watch "Flo the Lyin' Fly" only to realize the DVD was cracked...so we just practiced what a lie and a truth were.

The Slippery Slope

During our training time this morning we watched the DVD Auto B Good's story on truthfulness called "The Slippery Slope". In this story, Maria was told not to go for another train on the off road course because of all the rain it would cause a mudslide. Maria didn't obey the Professor's instructions and went on the course again. While up there, a mudslide went down the mountain almost crashing into EJ and Izzy. However, Maria was able to save EJ and Izzy in time by knocking them out of the way of the mudslide. All the cars didn't realize Maria was the one who caused the mudslide and were congratulating her and praising her for saving EJ and Izzy. Finally Maria confesses the truth that she was the one who caused the mudslide.

We learned with this show that sometimes it takes a lot of courage to tell the truth, especially when those around us think something different happened. But by telling the truth we gain respect from those around us.

Truthfulness: Saying what you know to be true

** I realize the series we have must be the first series since I'm not able to locate it at this time on the autobgood.com website. I purchased my set from LES. Both my kids love these shows and I love the moral characteristics they help teach my kids!

Larryboy and the Fib From Outer Space

This week's moral characteristic is all about Truthfulness. Today after we had our training time, we all watched the DVD "Larryboy and the Fib From Outer Space". I took notes on the show and after the DVD these are the things we talked about:

* What did Jr. Asparagus lie about? (breaking of his dad's plate)
* Is there a difference between a little lie and a big lie?
* What happens when we tell a lie? (someone else gets in trouble, we can't be trusted, our friends get mad at us, we don't feel good about ourselves, we end up telling more and more lies to cover up...)
* Who all did Jr. Asparagus blame for breaking the plate? (his friend Laura, Lenny, Space Aliens).
* Do you think his friends were happy or sad when Jr. Asparagus said they broke the plate?
* How do we stop a lie? (by telling the truth, by admitting we told a lie, by saying we're sorry for lying and asking for forgiveness to the person/people we lied too)
* Just like the Fib monster in the show got bigger and bigger and scarier and scarier, so do our lies when we keep telling more lies. (Owen actually didn't like how scary the Fib monster was -- he kept covering his eye!)
* What did we learn today? (God always wants us to tell the truth and the only way to be free from our lies is to tell the truth. The Bible says "The truth will set you free". John 8:32)

I hope you have found some great talking points to discuss with your kids. Owen wasn't really able to answer the questions too well but we still talked them over. And right after our training time on Truthfulness he took something I had just cleaned up and put away. I asked him what was in his hands and I could see he was processing what he should say...and instead of saying nothing (like he has been doing) he opened his hands and showed me. I told him that was good he told the truth!

** As a follow up to yesterday's post, the Character Builders series is not available on netflix. They showed the DVD on their website but when I added it to our queue it didn't have an available date. So I think I may just order them. I've found several great prices online for the set.

more on being truthful

So I spent today looking around the house on other ways to teach my kids about being truthful and here are some things I came across. I plan to use these during our week on being truthful.

* Hermie & Friends DVD "The Lyin' Fly"
* Auto B Good DVD (this is a great series on character building!) vol 4 "Truthfulness"
* Veggie Tales DVD "The Fib From Outer Space"
* Uncle Arther Bedtime Stories:
on Honesty - Peggy's Extra Present (vol 1 pg 109), Honest Tommy (vol 3 pg 189), Alan's "Sandwich" (vol 5 pg 129). on Truthfulness - Daddy's Birthday Present (vol 3 pg 117).
* Small Children's book called "God, I need to talk to you about Lying" by Susan K. Leigh
* Mentioned previously were the "First Vitrues for Toddlers" books "Piglet Tells the Truth".
* I found this website that has a Bible lesson study and worksheet on lying: http://www.hem-of-his-garment-bible-study.org/bible-study-on-lying.html#lying
* One other thing I just found is the DVD series called "Character Builders". They have a program on truthfulness. I noticed I can get this through netflix, so I'm going to do that so we can check out the series.

As I come up with more ideas, I'll let you know, but just wanted to get you started on a resources you may have at home too. Most of the things I mentioned above I've gotten either at Library and Education store or Amazon.com or Christianbooks.com.

Do you have any other resources you have for teaching your kids about truthfulness?

Truthfulness

For this week's moral character we'll be focusing on truthfulness. I picked this one to focus on first since Owen has just began to lie. I wanted to start teaching him words that go with his actions since when I tell him to tell me the truth and not to lie I'm not sure if he truly understands what I'm saying. Which brings me to this week's lesson. How do you teach a kid what it means to lie and to tell the truth without using the words truth and lying? Here is what we did today for our training time...hope you find some helpful tips to use in your training and please share your ideas too!

* I created a new page for our "Cook Family Virtue" scrapbook titled "Truthfulness". I wrote out a few Bible verses on what God says about lying and about telling the truth. Check out the photo to see what I wrote down. I went through this with the kids. I've also gotten Owen's Church Bible out and we are looking up the verses in his Bible so he can see that it's not just on mommy's scrapbook, but in fact coming from the Bible.

* To help explain the idea of telling the truth and lying I picked a few objects around the house and told a "lie" about them. For example, our rocking chair which is orange. I said to Owen and Anna "if mommy said this chair was purple, would that be the truth or would that be a lie?" Anna kept telling me "no, mommy it's not purple it's orange!" Find some other things that you could easily demonstrate a lie vs a truth. You could even make some flash cards and have the kids say truth or lie about things you say about the cards.

* I have a book that I enjoy reading with the kids called "First Virtues for Toddlers" by Dr. Mary Manz Simon. She has a story about truthfulness called "Piglet Tells the Truth". Whats great about this book is that they also "share what the Bible has to say" regarding the particular virtue of the story. You can purchase individual stories from Amazon.com or if you have access to LES you can get the 12 story in one book there for around $10. This collection is nice since it also includes parent notes in the back to give you further ideas on how to teach the different virtues to your kids.

* Another idea is to find ways throughout the day that your child is being truthful and focus on being truthful (remember, that's the behavior you are wanting, so show your kids ways you see them being truthful throughout the day...of course you still need to have consequences for the lying).

* It's important to stress why we tell the truth -- not only because the Bible tells us to, but because it builds trust. And we want to be able to trust each other and our friends so we need to always tell the truth so people will trust us.

Hope that helps get you started on some ideas. I'll post more later this week as I try to develop the concept of being truthful further.